THE FLAG OF HAPPINESS...IS A PUPPIES TAIL!

COPYRIGHTS...

DOG LOVERS

Last night I lost my best friend and companion of eighteen wonderful years.

Eighteen years ago my friend Maria and I wanted to get a dog. We wanted a cock-a-poo. We found an ad in the paper, drove many miles to see them. There were only two left. The breeder, handed one to Maria and one to me. Maria's was the prettiest pup of the two. She offered to switch the puppies if I wanted to. But I felt God handed me the one that was meant to be mine. We named them Coco and Chanel, and often sprayed them with the perfume.

Coco lived for one year. Chanel and I would go over to visit Maria after Coco passed over and Chanel ran all over the house looking for her little playmate. She was so smart even then. She knew her sister was gone...It took only a few weeks to potty train her, always so proud that she did her duties outside. At six weeks and when I first got her she knew that the few times she made a mistake upset me, and therefore she never did it again. From then on every single time she went outdoors. I reeked with joy which made her extremely concious that this was a way to please me. From that moment on she did all she could think of to make me laugh, please me and earn my good attention was her gaol. Sometimes my outside schedules were long, yet she would wait for me to come home to go potty outside. When she felt sick, and her tummy would hurt, like a child that needed to vomit, she would run to my bathroom and let it out right beside the toilet, not wanting to make mess in the house.

Years went by. She loved to run, swim, do tricks and jump into my purse and/or any kind of travel bag. Jumping into bags was her way of asking me to take her. When I went to restaurants, movies or out with friends, I took her with me. No one ever knew she was there unless I let them know. She would stay so quiet and still. I swear she knew that I was hidding her. She became more and more a part of me. She was my life, at work and at play. Her nick name was "The Fuzz." Her forever puppy smell was intoxicating to me. Fuzzy was so special and smart. She went everywhere with me.......everywhere....

Always by my side.

When she turned ten years old, she developed a limp in her right hind leg. We took her to a Vet in New Port Beach, California. We were told she had a form of Cancer. They wanted to treat her with radiation therapy. They said she wouldn't live more than two more years without it. My heart was broken. Doubtful and indecisive, we took her for a second opinion, a Vet in our local area, near Running Springs, California. His name is Doctor Freebase. He suggested another specialist to see her.

After an overnight stay and many more tests, the answer was negative, she did not have any kind of Cancer. I was then told from the staff members at that animal hospital, that they wanted to keep her. She was so good. They wanted her to be an example for all the other animal patients, so that she could teach them how to behave. I was given prescriptions of cortizone tablets and told just to let her rest quietly at home. I then spent two months with her on the floor with two pillows and two king size down comforters. She progressed everyday. After the two months went by, she was perfect, running as fast as ever.

I remeber praying to God at the time, asking "Please give her five extra years. Give her some of my life. Whatever age that you're planning to take me, give them to her."

Three years then past. She was nearly thirteen and going strong, healthy as a young puppy. People couldn't believe it. She swam, played with toys and ran all the time.

Approximately eight months ago however, now age seventeen, almost eighteen, she started loosing her sight. She had to slow down. But do to her high spirit she managed it well. But the last ninty days were starting to wear her down. Her body started to weaken from a few recent falls, and her body was very tired.

Dr. Freebase xrayed her and said she had a compressed disk, but that she seemed to manage it well. He said that her eye sight was poor, only some eye drops could help. Other than that she was very strong. But due to two factors, the eyes and her spine, her quality of life will not be the same. She ran into things all the time. I had to take a tight rope on her, which I did most of the time. Not in the sence of tying her up, she was to close to human for that, but constant help all the time. I could see depression starting in her. I had to weigh the good days over the bad ones. During these months was the only time in the almost eighteen years of her life that, she made a few mistakes on the floor. Each time you could see her frustration. At times she would even let out a cry

Then one night she had an accident in my bed. She hadn't barked or made any sounds for quite sometime now, but after that mistake, she howled like a siren, so ashamed of what she had done. I told her it was O.K., but to try not to do that. "Try not to forget, I would say. Be a good girl and go potty outside." By this time, I had many area blankets on top of the bed that were washable, so that she would be able to "maybe" mentally, handle it better. I then lowered the bed to the floor, taking away the mattress frames in the Master Bedroom, that's how much I loved her. After all this was the bed in which she slept all the time. I bathed her once a week and even brushed her teeth, which she'd always like me to do. I also put a twelve inch high and about thirty six inch wide, foot rest at the front end of the bed. This way she could still get up and down on her own. This went well for the last few months.

However, I know by that one and only long terrible, loud scream she had made from this potty accident, that she was loosing her dignity. No more toys, no more running, no more verbal excitment, not even to bark at a stranger. I prayed for God to now take her. "Let her fall into sleep and have no more pain." Many friends told me it was time to let her go. I checked into euthenasia. Some people said it was awful, that their dogs choked for air and cried, others said that their pets just went to sleep. I didn't know what to do. Each day became more difficult for her. She did still love to eat her boiled chicken and vitamins, which was her main diet, and she sure still loved to cuddle. I knew now that I had to find out more and be ready, just incase.

I called the doctor and asked what I can do to make sure she gets to leave this world without pain and in peace. He recommended a tablet, a tranquilizer, 1 gr. Phenobarb. If necessary, I was to give it to her one hour before the final injection of sleep. I managed to go and pick up the pill and I put it into the medicine cabinet with all of her past pills and eye creams. All of which didn't help now. Throughout these last few weeks she was having harder and harder times. Getting around now was becoming more and more difficult.

Then it happened again. I was in the dressing room when I heard her loud, siren, screaming cry. I ran to her as fast as I could. She was on her back and had vomited. Apparently she was trying to avoid getting it on the carpet or bed. So she howled for a full ten minutes. I told her it was O.K. as her mouth was soaking wet.

I held her, but she wanted down. She went onto the deck vomited and went potty. I felt so bad for her. She was still howling and then crawled up onto my chest and placed her head on my shoulders and didn't move. She held perfectly still. I will never forget that moment of silence. I began talking to her. I asked her if she was tired, did she want to go night, night now? "Do you want me to give you your medicine now so that you have no more pain?" I talked to her as I would to a human. I knew she always understood all that I said. Her body language made that very clear throughout the now almost eighteen years. She was able to communicate better than some people I know. She would push away if the answer was no. But she'd wagged her tail or licked me for yes. Licking was something she didn't do often, only when she was asked to give a kiss or to answer me yes. This yes method we had came with my now recent question. This time it was a lick on my check and a shove of her bruised nose {from running into trees, walls, and objects around the house,} to under my chin. She pressed hard against me, as to say, "Yes please help me. I'm scared and I'm tired. I hurt and I'm loosing my pride and my dignity." But still, I couldn't do it.

Later, I walked into the other room. It was then and at that point, she did it for me. I have mentioned that I have a deck. It was designed especially for children and pets in mind. The only opening is at the bottom portion, which is only six inches high. Chanel was about fourteen inches tall, maybe more, and around eleven inches wide, maybe more, this is including around her tummy. The deck is large, six hundred square feet. Somehow at the very moment of her hearing me discussing not to give her the medication and to wait a little longer, and during a conversation about a family member that was just admitted into the hospital, she managed to slip through the that tiny opening, and went off. I don't know how it was possible, but she did, landing fourteen feet below onto the concrete driveway. After all these years of knowing this deck so well and with all of the furniture on it, she found a way out. People tell me, she wanted to go.

My neighbors across the street saw her. They brought her up to me. She was placed into my arms still breathing. I put her down for a moment to see if she could stand. She stood, but then laid down. I picked her up, held her again as she placed her head on me. I called Dr. Freebase, gave her the tablet and was told to bring her to him within thirty minutes. I wrapped her in her favorite black and wooly blanket as we drove to the hospital. It was so strange because she seemed so content. Not a cry or a howl, not even a movement of pain.The entire trip to the doctor seemed timeless. I talked to her all of the way. I told her how much she was loved. How good she was. How very smart she is. I told her I understood that she had helped me make the decission for her. I said I knew that she was tired of pain and that she wanted to go. I knew this with all of my heart because she never left me before, she never walked away from me, even without a leash. She hated to be leashed, but was very good when I had to use one.

Arriving at RimForest Animal Hospital, a table was waiting, covered with several thick, white terry cloth towels for her comfort. I gently placed her down and put my hand and my face onto her forehead. She laid there warm and peaceful. I again talked, this time into her warm, floppy long ears and whispered, "Oh how I love you, I love you so much. You've been such a good girl, such a very, very good girl. You're so smart. You can go night, night now. Go night night baby, go night night. At the same time I was saying all this Dr. Freebase was injecting her, but Chanel didn't seem to notice. There was no fear, no anxiety, just peace. As I kept whispering to her, one tear of mine fell onto her warm body, which I know she didn't feel, because I was trying very hard to be strong. I held in so much of my feelings at that time. I didn't want her to feel my pain of loosing her. I told her again that it was O.K. It was time to be free from her pain.

As she kept on drifting away from me, I suddenly saw a light grey cloudy stream coming out of her body. A off white touch of round shape, smoke like substance that came directly out of her body. Once, and then again. It was shaped also like a spear at the tip, extremely rounded but thin and wavy. It came out of her and then into me, then went out into what seemed to be nothing. With this cloud like substance was light sound. It was so slight, I couldn't make it out. It wasn't verbal. The best explaination I can give is that it sounded like an object that came out of something. Like perhaps a nail coming out of a wooden plank. Together both of these things came out of her, twice, and with this intensive strong warmth from her body. When this happened I knew she had died. I looked up and said, "she's gone." Doc Freebase looked at me in surprise that I would say that but believed what I said because he then took out the injection, put on his stethoscope as I rose away from her body. He checked her heart, nodded his head to say yes she is gone. She was so warm, so peaceful. I thanked God and him for letting her go without pain. But now, Oh God, how I miss her. Will I ever get over not seeing her each and everyday? At the same time I realized I saw her soul. I know to this day that it was her soul that I saw leave her body. Where did it go? I don't know, but one thing for sure I can say is....We do go out of our flesh and bones. Several of my friends have opions as to my experience with this death of my loving little friend. Death is not the end of being. Perhaps it is a begining or a strength going out into the Universe to continue into another life cycle in more than many possible ways. Even perhaps into another being in this great unexpected planets Karma.

I now will mention again that during this time frame, a member of our family was in critical condition and in a hospital. At the exact time my Chanel went off of the deck, our family member Joe, was being wheeled into an emergency operation. The entire family was advised to expect the worst. Joe, knew nothing about the illness of Chanel, but Chanel heard us talking about him. It was at the exact same time that I felt the streaming, light grey cloud image with sound coming out of my dog, while Joe was being operated on, and one of my friends belief is that it was some of her soul and her life sources that had left my dog's body, somehow went into Joe. Because early that morning at 7:00 A.M., Joe called us from his hospital bed. He said the first thing in his mind waking up and out of the operation was me and my dog. Now because he is a distant family member, he calls mostly on Holidays, and not when he has problems. He said that he was in the hospital and doing well. His words were, "I'm doing good, feeling better, my legs and arms are no longer paralized, and the first people I thought of was you.

When he called I was already awake with tears from loosing my Fuzz. I had been strong throughout the night, managed some sleep, but woke up without that puppy smell of Chanel, that I loved so much, and without her by my side. All I could do was cry. But when the phone rang I composed myself for Joe's sake. A few minutes later my friend Maria called, she and I had a Godly phenomenon and spiritual experience together before, many years ago. She's the one that told me she thought Chanel's spirit picked this time to go. She believes Chanel gave Joe some of her life force, and I now do too. Just the fact that all of this happened at the exact same time, was no accident. My dog was ready to go, through the higher power and with her strong soul, was able to give out some of life's engery and move on.

Some of you will think that I'm crazy, I know, but the ones who think that it might be possible, keep on believing in a greater power. It certainly helps...Remember that the word Dog spelled backwards, spells God. And my Fuzz did not die at age twelve. She got to live the five years more that I prayed for. She was seventeen and one half.

I therefore dedicate this website page...

To wonderful memories with my old dog

Chanel.......The Fuzz......In

Tribute.......

Chanel the Fuzz, liked children, cats, and let birds sit on her head....

She Passed over sometime between 8:00 to 9:00 P.M on June-01-2001

My story is brought to you from the variety of pages at www.Cyberwoman.net.

2004 I was given a dog two years old that looks, acts and smells exactly like my Chanel. This new pup was born eight weeks after her death. I know she's in there and I know she has come back to me. I have some of her with me today.......

2005

After learning about Terri Schiavo and others that I have myself seen and watched their end time of life come, makes me pray that Terri did not die that way for nothing. Perhpas her cause to all of us is to change the way that we accept the fact that we all have to leave our bodies. To live and die is what our adventures are on this planet. Couldn't we have made it easier for Terri's soul to have left with physician's assistance? We do as much for our loving pets. The above story about my dog, should be the least that we could do for humans. I love life, but am not afraid to pass on. But I am very afraid of those around me, in letting go. Some of the heroism out there scares the pants off of me.

A choice rather than others choosing for us is absolutely needed. Even more than a living will. Doctor's assistance please!!! It was proven that Terri didn't even want to be fat, so how could anyone think she'd want to live in an infants body and/or go through any of the things that happened to her after her accident. How can we be so cold and not assist her in leaving her body?

The state of Oregon has somewhat had a chance to help us in this great cause and hopefully Terri's story will make a difference in the entire United States. Let her set the presidence, in showing us how not to have a long drawn out death when we are critical.

Let us have the choice, perhaps even written on our drivers licences or between our doctors and ourselves. Please don't let this unforgetable Terri Schiavo have been in vain.

2006 Now there is more that happened on the subject of dying with dignity and love, if you're interested just write to me, ask and I'll tell you about it....

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